Much like the title of this post says, sometimes I am not okay. Some days I am sad and do not want to get out of bed. Some days all I want to eat is chocolate. Some days I want to soak in the bathtub until the water is freezing because my mind can silence itself there.
I am a very busy person. I work, watch my son, and handle a full time student’s schedule. My mind doesn’t stop. My mind doesn’t always remember things either – the years have done a number on my short term and long term memory. My struggle with mental illness has been a long one and just when I think I have it under control, the feelings come creeping back. I feel my body and mind lose focus and motivation. I feel my energy levels fall to zero and the hours I stay up each night increase. I feel feelings of being stuck and continuous doubt that I can be better than what I am.
This is where I’m at right now. And no matter what I do to try and decrease all of the feelings listed above, I can’t seem to succeed. So I keep moving along. I understand that with mental illness comes these low points but that a high will definitely follow. In times like these, I must remind myself there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel and it is there shining ever so brightly.
As someone who has struggled for a while, here is my advice: It is okay to not be okay. Do not feel like you must “conquer” your low point. Have those days where you take naps and binge watch shows on Netflix. Eat all the chocolate brownies you want if it makes you happy. But just know that it is okay to break down and cry. Let it out. Confide in a friend because your family and peers are your support and can lift you up like no other.
Things may seem bad now but the sun will shine soon. Someone is always in your corner – you are definitely not alone.
**with that being said – if anyone ever needs to talk, I am wide open. Please feel free to contact me and I will be there to listen if you need it! My email is firstname.lastname@example.org